The Hetalia Gangster Adventures
by Dr. Doitsu
Summary: A series of ONESHOTS that I've written and then putinto Gizoogle to gangsterfy.


**Okay so my friend inspired me to write this and it was all serious until I saw a bunch of tumblr posts about Gizoogle. Why not? So I copy and pasted the original story into the Gizoogle thing and...this happened. **

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"Ve~ whoz ass wants pasta?" Axed Italy, pushin open tha kitchen door n' struttin tha fuck into tha dinin room, a funky-ass bowl of pasta up in both handz fo' realz. Almost immediately, Gilbert emerged from no where n' sat all up in tha table wit a greedy smile on his wild lil' face.

Italy smiled back n' set tha two bowls on tha table as Germany strutted in, frownin all up in tha sight of his olda brutha smokin messily n' sat down all up in tha opposite edge of tha table. Continuin ta smile, Italy stood next ta Germany n' waited fo' his ass ta start smokin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

"Aren't you goin ta have any?" Axed Ludwig, examinin tha two bowls on tha table.

"I aint straight-up hungry. I already ate." Answered Feliciano, pickin up Ludwigz fork n' rockin it ta spear a piece of pasta which he guided ta Germanyz grill. "Eat up, Luddy."

Ignorin tha humpin' sound effects comin from Gilbertz end of tha table, Germany accepted tha chicken n' Italy busted his ass on tha cheek, causin tha tall German ta flush red as his schmoooove ass chewed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Italy looked pissed tha fuck off as he peeped tha two brothers eat, though his fuckin lil' small-ass frown went unnoticed by both of tha men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Feliciano retreated tha fuck into tha kitchen wit a gangbangin' false smile. "I-I'm-a gonna go git tha drinks."

Ludwig stood up n' fuckin started ta follow his muthafuckin ass. "I can help-"

"NO!...no, just...just stay there ok, biatch? I be bout ta be right back wit some brew n' shit. Just...just stay there." Was Italyz frantic reply. This erection trippin both of tha German brothers yo, but Germany sat down n' looked ta his brutha up in hope dat Gilbert would be able ta come up wit some form of a explanation fo' tha Italianz quick exit n' insistence on goin ridin' solo. Gilbert shrugged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What did he know bout Italians, biatch? Every attempt ta hit on Romano had resulted up in either a verbal rebuke from Lovino or a straight-up fucked up physical battle from Spain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Five minutes passed n' Germany stood up. What was keepin Italy so long, biatch? Was dat schmoooove muthafucka hidin something, biatch? Was dat schmoooove muthafucka hurt, biatch? Dude tucked up in his chair n' strutted halfway across tha kitchen, fallin over before he reached ta tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Gilbert fuckin started ta laugh, flappin his thugged-out arms up in tha air fo' realz. Attemptin ta stand up, Germany found dat his schmoooove ass couldn't n' was forced ta crawl round tha room. Gilbert wiped a tear from his wild lil' fuckin eye n' stood ta try n' help his brutha up, though ta his surprise instead of reachin fo' his hand, Germany leapt up all up in tha Prussian, knockin his brutha ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Gilbird flew tha fuck into tha livin room outta sheer fright, n' Germany followed on all fours.

Inside tha kitchen, England patted Italy on tha head all dem times up in praise n' peeped tha bangin-ass scene all up in tha openin up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sighing, Italy leant forward ta look outta tha crack as well yo. Dude felt shitty fo' bustin this, fo' betrayin Ludwig but he straight-up had no chizzle. Economizzle was wack n' England had promised ta help if he just weakened Germany fo' a short while. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Surely Ludwig could forgive him, right, biatch? Dude peeped it as Germany bounded up onto his brutha n' attempted ta catch Gilbird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What on earth was dat thang dat Arthur had axed his ass ta slip tha fuck into Ludwigz chicken, biatch? Whatever it was, it had had a strange effect on tha German, n' fo' now, all Italy could do was sit back n' watch.

Back up in tha livin room, Prussia was holdin Gilbird ta his chest protectively while simultaneously attemptin ta coax his younger brutha down from tha top of tha bookshelf. "C'mon Westside son! Come down! Whatz wack wit you todizzle?"

"Hiss"

"WEST IT IS UNAWESOME TO HISS AT THE AWESOME ME!"

As a reply, Ludwig lazily batted all up in tha top of Prussiaz head n' meowed on tha fuckin' down-lowly. Gilbert reached up ta grab his brutha n' tugged wit all of his strength, causin his brutha ta topple down from his thugged-out lil' perch n' onto Prussia. In tha commotion, Gilbert let go of his bird n' Ludwig quickly managed ta shiznit his ass tha fuck into his crazy-ass grill. Gilbert pushed his brutha off his ass n' fuckin started ta look fo' Gilbird, not long afta his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started tha search, da perved-out muthafucka spotted a funky-ass bulge up in Ludwigz cheek. " dat shit."

Ludwigz reply was ta stare up at his brutha while da perved-out muthafucka swallowed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

"WEST!" Dude yelled, as tha blonde rolled over onto his back n' looked up at Gilbert Sleepily.

"WEST DONT YOU DARE GO TO SLEEP THIS IS NOT AWESOME YOU NEED TO GIVE BACK GILBIRD! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR A CATNAP!" Gilbert stopped n' looked at his brutha curiously yo. Dude came ta tha unlikely conclusion dat Ludwig, fo' one reason or another, straight-up believed dat da thug was a cold-ass lil cat. Decidin ta test his cold-ass theory, Prussia kneeled down n' fuckin started ta stroke Ludwigz head, scratchin behind tha ears. Germany purred up in delight n' shifted so dat his stomachs was facin Prussia. Takin tha hint, Gilbert rested a hand on Ludwigz stomach n' fuckin started ta stroke dat shit. This went on fo' all dem awkward minutes before Ludwig rolled over n' closed his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

"No westside wait what tha fuck bout Gil-" Prussiaz protests went unnoticed by Ludwig, whoz ass simply yawned n' fuckin started his nap.

Then shit happened. That's the end Yo.


End file.
